what's life.....?

2.40am 7th july-- in my entire 20years of being a homo sapien..i never question or bothered with the questions like what is life?..what is the purpose of life? even when some of my friends always ask..i don't really feel the need to look for answer or answer my friends..i just get on with my life ..living it like how i think i should..living it the way it makes me happy..i was alright with this arrangement..until im older..all the decisions about life,future,happiness..decisions involving people you love,affecting people you love..so many things to consider..i hated it but then i know it's 1 of the stages of life that i must go through..i thought i was mature enough to handle some of the decisions..rational enough to face it but then i was wrong...why must it always look easier..said easier than done? i realised learning from experiences and examples is very important..it help a lot but again...it is sooooo not easy to be done..some people can just act on their impulses and decide once and for all..but im not that kind of person..im a Taurus for goodness sake..i don't like risk!! (and yes sometimes i do believe in the zodiac sign thingy..only sometimes whenit's kinda true) i like to make sure of things...i don't like too risky-life altering things..maybe some surprises but not all the time in my life..but i guess im stuck with this things for some time to come..so now my definition of life or purpose of life = it's all decision making..taking up challenges..fittest survive..like animals living in the jungle?i guess..losers get lost and find other habitate..=p *sigh* *crap crap crap*
yesterday thursday was a very busy day...amelia drive me around to do my college hunting..i love her so much for that..have to jam and round for so long just to find parking at the what they call colleges complex..pity amelia also had to walked far with her sandals...so sorry gal but always rest asure that the things you've done for me to day is something that i will never forget..it'll remind me what a true priceless friend you are..really really glad that i have you as my friend...love you so much gal!! =) (not the lesbo way 'k)
well we checked out almost all the uni at PJ..and Subang..prices range from RM40 000++to RM60 000++..if i get a full loan i also won't be able to survive...feeling damn sad when i came home...talk to mom and dad..feeling myself so useless..thank god after the discussion they went off jogging..so i have time for myself and wallow in self pity..crying my eyes out..it's actually a kind of therapy for me cause i feel much better after that..then i started calling friends in universities colleges..asking information and my sweet angel was really nice..we chatted in the phone and he gave me all the info that i wanted..really make my day! at least i know i still have hope..=/ but the info make me think much harder and longer..and i have to take a lot of things into consideration..more headache but it's still hope.. =)
amelia and alex made my thursday busy,bright and hopeful...Jane,an old friend of mind ever since i was young before i enter primary school..known her for more than 10 years..separated when i shifted to kepong and she stayed at subang..our moms are best friends..they keep in touch all this while but i only get news about my dear friend from her mom..both of us busy with our life..making new friends,enjoying school life..and keeping each other's presence in the mind but never take steps or find a way to meet up..i blame it we were just too busy with our lives =p ...but recently when i found out she's going to australia to further her studies..i suddenly felt like i must meet up with her and re-mend or re-connect our long lost and strained friendship...so my family and i went to her house chit-chat for quite some time..i realised we could still chat so friendly like we never got separated before...it's good..really glad to know our friendship is still sailing...=) after she went to australia..i chat with her through MSN..told her how i was doing and she the same..she knew about my case..she helped me a lot..then today as in an hour ago we were chatting and again she helped me in my 'colleges fee and programmes research project' =p really brighten my day eventhough it's still so early and dark in the morning..i have another option to consider now..have to go check it out first though..better be safe than sorry..especially in my case where i couldn't afford to be sorry!!!
i always take a long time to blog...next time must try to type faster...=p hmmm..i should have gone with amy clubbing but later she told me she was just hanging out,chilling at a pub..still a few shots of alcohol should at least help me relax..but then again i have no mood to go out either..=p gtg sleep now or i won't stop crapping...!tata..night night!!