28th june, 01.04am- yesterday i came back from genting..showered and straight away went to bed sleep until 9sth...really damn tired because i didn't get enough sleep plus a very hard bed..which im still thinking to call it a bed or not because it's not meant to be a bed!!!
so many things happened since the last time i blog..the reply for uni application came out on the 19th of june..my mind was numb from the moment i read the 2 words TIDAK BERJAYA..well it's not that i'm thinking so highly of myself that i was confident i will surely get the course that i applied for..it's the thought that i didn't even successfully get a single non-important course that shocked me..is my result that bad? i know it is not good enough to compete with other people but i stil harbour some hope that i can at least get a place in any uni in whatever rural area i can think of..i actually prepared myself to go somewhere faraway from home..i really don't mind because at least it's a local uni which will cost cheaper so i won't burden my father too much..but then i cannot blame anyone except myself..why didn't i do better?have i not put enough effort?am i overly confident til i hope too much therefore when the result came out i was so disappointed?..i question myself ever since then..making up all excuses for myself too..i hated myself last week.. i really don't feel like seeing anyone..any of my friends knowing almost all of them get a place..i felt ashamed..i really do.. i never felt like a loser before but last week i really did..when im with them i find myself on the verge of tears not once but many times,thank god i managed to hold myself back..but the feelings sucks! maybe it's because all this while i've done well..the 'kiasu' character coming all out now..im a sore loser ya i know..but i also think with this kind of character,it will help me improve myself more..im not goin to change..i just have to get over the feelings..
I never regret deciding on going outings with my friends..for i know i won't get to spend much time with them and i'll regret it if i didn't see them before they went off to their uni.. i even get to spend some time with friends that i rarely see..it felt good..a bit of comfort there.. =) catch a movie with some of them,a cup of tea and a few football matches which can really help me forget some of my feelings..now i know and understand why some people can't live without football and why some of them even think football is a religion..it's a miracle actually..hehe =p also i owed it to my baby jie jie for cheering me up and calling at the right moment and made me cry..i feel much better after crying it out..to think of it ..i was feeling numb all this while i never actually be really sad or cry about it and now is the best time to do so..cause i think if i don't my head will explode..and this proved that 1 of my future-doctor-friend is correct..the cause of my headache is stress!
hehe at least something happy did happened since last week.. i decided to get a notebook..give a call to Dell and after a few days..my notebook arrived..the first in my life.. i love it i don't care what kenny said but i now offially own a notebook!! me happy!=) because i bought it with my own sweat and blood money!i don't need to trouble my dad eventhough i know he'll still get me 1 no matter i have my money or not..he just loves me so much..which also cause me to feel damn guilty..sorry daddy mummy..i'll do better to improve myself..i remember my promise not to disappoint both of you..me love daddy and mummy!!
im actually blogging now using my notebook..typing on the so ever comfortable keypad...yes i like the keypad very much!=) well looks like i better talk bout my 2days 1 night trip to genting with a group of my friends..they were planning to get drunk there..which they did!8 of us..we checked in to First World hotel about 3.30pm..settled down and everything we went rock climbing or to be precise THEY went rock climbing and i went shopping..i have no interest for rock climbing..maybe will try it in the distant future just not now..but all of us did enjoyed ourselves..i enjoyed watching them climb =p while eating Baskin Robbins!hehe..later when they finish we went to kenny roger's for dinner..i hate genting's kenny roger's..the garden pasta tasted bitter!!!! =( i have to eat choy's share because i told him it was nice..and he oredered it!!so it's kinda like my fault he didn't get to enjoy his dinner..so i took his share..anyway after chewing it a little longer it actually taste good so hehe not much a problem there.!=p later went back to our rooms..the gals 1 room and the guys 1 room..the gals showered and chit chat..went to checked on the boys and all of them's asleep except herng..he was clicking away on his notebook..thats what i heard from voon's gf-siew fern(i dunno how to spell her name)..i enjoyed chatting with her..she's very friendly and crazy..truly fun to be with..we chatted for quite some time together wif jie's gf seok mun..sharing each others drunken experience..=p and mine's the worse! anyway later on we went to wake them all up ..they showered and we went to coffee bean for coffee..and we even managed to catch the brazil vs ghana match! yay yay brazil won!...hehe DUH!=p
Next came the big event..2 bottle of those dunno what kinda alcohol i forgot the name but we only finished 1 bottle..all i know is it tasted like erm..direct translation=cockroach water! i only drink 1 glass mix with coke..and for the rest of the night we gals are the nanny..the guys all got themselves drunk!!and the funniest was voon cause he can't stop talking..he reminded me of my grandfather!siew fern was very happy to see him drunk because she never seen him drunk before..good for her since she's going to sabah..the rest all either vomitted or couldn't walk in a straight line..we only managed to nap at 4 or 5 am..damn tired!and i couldn't sleep well because of the stupid bed!!..the next day was spend in the room sleeping until the last hour before checking out..then went to ulu yam for 'lor mee'..we eat while watching chinese vampire movie!! Nice!!=)
well amelia was right...i feel much better after i blog..=) today is a new day..im going to get myself back to my normal mood no matter what happen..!!=) and i'll follow yieng yieng's advice to laugh and smile more!!!im going to explore and welcome this new stage of my life with open arms!! GO GO GO!!=p
gtg sleep now...it's 3am and i promised mom to go jogging with her later...ahhhhh!!=( tata
No comments:
Post a Comment