I love the month of April...

*sigh*...I've got to stop doing this...I love reading other people's blogs and i enjoy it ver much but me myself is sooooooo lazy to blog...ahhh no entry for March..how sad and now April is almost going to end...ahaha it won't end until i celebrate my birthday...it's another two more days but I already feel so loved! why is that i heard...? hehehe...i received a call from a friend studying at JB and at the same time another friend msn me both wishing me Happy Birthday!! ahahah they are the earliest two to wish me...well that's because they thought it was today and forgotten about 22nd!!! Im supposed to get offended but these two gals were just too sweet that i can't get mad at them...it's so cute of them!! ahahah...
Next happy thing...my sweet angel ask me to go to Good Charlotte's concert tomorrow night!!! He didn't even know he gave me a birthday present by taking me there...how cute!! heheh well i'll be joining PY there too...well to be precise..Im goin with Py and meet my Angel there...ahahha =p hmmm...eventhough there won't be any big celebration but im so happy things happened and friends all remember!! I love them all...love you all ya!! My mum's baking a cake well TWO chocolate...thick creamy dark chocolate~~!! hehe...auntie bought me stuff...heheh im so blessed!!
I cut my hair to reaaallyyy short yesterday...thank god i brought Amy along...hence my nice haircut!! and not the 'si si' lala style that i almost have to live with=.= hehe...i love my hairstyle again...feeling very good right now...reallyy good!
It's weird that i am so excited with just this few little things but really...the past few days been feeling quite pathetic...ahaha someone asked me a question which made me feel so pathetic and pityfull suddenly...then went to this not very impressive interview which adds up to the pathetic-ness I was feeling...heheh now feel much better...really..I was all this while feeling very comfortable with myself but these two events really make me felt insecure...VERY insecure and PATHETIC..been bugging Amy a lot..I haven't been feeling like that for so long..=) anyway it was an experience...
oh oh oh...!!! I saw Chester Bennington!!!! I still can't believe i saw him at Tower Records...man he is sooo hot!! I don't care if people say he's skinny or Mike's better...I've always love him from the beginning...love him love him love him!!! Too bad i couldn't get autograph but i get loads of pictures!! Don't ask me why i didn't get autograph...sad case...i realised every time if there's anything to do with Linkin Park, I will sure face some problems or discomfort or unhappiness...but i still love them especially Chester and Phoenix! When it comes to Linkin Park, it is always with my Brother...both of us will be discussing and planing to go at where and what time..I think this is the bonding thingy...a little weird since we are sister/brother and not brother/brother or sister/sister...ahah but im truly lucky i get along very well with my brother...he's going to study at Kampar soon...the place is not bad but i still feel sad he is going off to live outside...and i went through his pics when he was a baby...man how he grown to become a young man... i miss my baby brother...hmmm...is this what they call pre-turning-21-anxiety feelings?... I've been having this emotional turmoil for a few days now...OR ahaha it could be my PMS talking if i checked my calendar properly...=p yup it is! cheh...
oh..month of April...there are so many people's birthday and i attended a few of the parties...ahah fun but don't feel special anymore...=p hehe
well i guess that's about all for now...assignments been bugging me...finish two and here comes another two..I like IKEA but they are too interesting...too many info...x) i'll have to do my best...a bit 'kiasu' here...or im alwasy 'kiasu'...
arrgghhh...Amelia now is pestering me to wear a dress for my birthday dinner...the place we going does not need this kinda of dress code but she wants it!! hey gal...it's my birthday ooo =p ...apparently she's living her 21st birthday dream through me...heheh she didn't get to wear a dress on her birthday because her bf gave her a surprise party! hehehe...this gal asking too much! =p
anyway...that's all now...leave me comments or wish me happy birthday ooo...! xp

february's entry...!

hello! I am only blogging so that i have an entry for the month of February. I damn lazy to type about what had happened lately, so i think i'll do the random thingy and type what comes into my mind.
Hmmmm...ahhh i helped two of my college mates to shift their stuff from their old place to their new place which is so much better. The new place comes with swimming pools, tennis court, gym and more! The pools look good...hehehe a place for our gang to spend our 8 hours break before the 6pm class. Heheheh...gamble a bit...and thank god i didn't lose any money...
hmmm... I dunno what's so good about Singapore but after coming back from the trip i am so eager to go there again and this time i am dragging my brother because he wants to go too...keep on asking me questions...it's cheap to go if we are not planning to do any shopping...i wanan go on a European cruise...my auntie been tempting me by telling me stories and showing me pictures of her and family on a cruise..im sooo jealous gila! Looks like i need to seriously consider going there during summer...but i have to bring a few brats along with me...my brother and cousins..ahahah apparently they can't go on a cruise without an adult age 21 and above!! ahahah that will be me!!!! =p
My new year celebration sucks...and i've already expected my Chinese New Year will not be that great either...usual annual 'activities' happened but this time it became more serious involving more people! I only ever 'balik kampung' to see my granny and cousins...but really hate the activities that went on...adults! i still have 2 more months before becoming officially an adult so i can still complain about adults..to say they are more mature, rationale, responsible will be lying...many lessons can be learned from what i saw and experienced...words said cannot be erased or take back..actions done can never be forgotten...no matter what, it is better to THINK before we decide to move any muscle in our body!! yup..that's what i've learned..and i will try to remember that and practise myself...but then in the end of the day things will still go back to normal only the scars that will be left to remind all what had happened...it's ok for them but it's not ok for the kids...i wonder do they realised that..*sigh* *wipe it all off* *smile smile*
What else...ahhh! I suddenly realised there are so many things about myself that i dislike...i've been complaining about myself to myself a lot lately..*sounds creepy* haven't really give any much thought about these things yet so nothing much to say here...just a new issue with myself recently...
The passage above prove that i am running out of things to say and don't feel like blogging anymore ...heheh ...so that's all for now..erm...i wonder should i have a new year resolution whichis to blog more often?.... ahhh...tata!

im fine

im fine now...nothing serious now...everything ok now...went to singapore for three days two night...lazy to blog it here ..maybe amelia did...i'll blog when i feel like it... =p

a dream?

When i go to bed and wake up tomorrow morning, will it be over? Back then i can be an ignorant teenager and be oblivious with what exactly happened, but now as a twenty year old young lady can i still do that? My worst nightmare come true just as i was about to start having fun through adult life and university life, just as i was enjoying my holiday after my first semester. Time is always a factor for me. I will worry whether do I need to grow up soon or let it be? Do I think ahead of myself? Questions that every human being will ask when they face difficulties, 'Why? Why me? Why now? Why not later? How? What to do?'
I now understand clearly when a friend once told me she thought of hurting herself just to test whether can she still feel, sense pain with all the misery she went through. How she would want to escape from it. I actually thought of it just now. How will it be to just put a cut at that exact spot where you can see the veins? Does it hurt when im not feeling anything right now? How will it be if I was gone? Will it be less misery for them? Less problem, less burden? The urge was so strong that i had to slap myself. I can imagine the Angel and Devil on my shoulders. Do it! Don't do it! IS my belief strong enough? Is it true that i will be punish for doing it? Will i enter Hell?..........How childish of me, how naive to think that the problem will solve if i was gone. Looks like the Angel won the battle.
It's been a problem ever since i was born, even before i was born but i manage to evade it and God loves me enough to delay it till now. Looks like God thinks I am strong,old and mature enough to handle it. Should I be thankful? Should I be happy then?
When i was young i always asked, 'Can i have that? Can i have this?' I want so many things but the answers i get will always be the same, 'Nope, not now. Sorry, later when i can get it for you 'k dear, Work hard and get it yourself when you grow up, Aim for it' ...Yeah that's what i did. Aim for it! Till now i manage to reduce my aims and dreams to just a few. i finally got what i wanted but it is always later than anybody else but i do not begrudge it. I love them. They try to give me what i want eventhough it takes time and many years later. I take it positively,convince myself this is what you have to go through because your situation is different than your friends. This have made me appreciate every single little thing that i've own. I grew up being a pampered girl, daddy's girl. Compare to some people I am one fortunate girl. Ofcourse even that's the case, I know exavtly what the real picture looks like. That is why i am working so hard to get a degree, working so hard to make sure i must succeed, wishing so hard for things that i want it to be and to happen. I wonder if i wish hard enough it will come true? Dad always tells me that i am a lucky girl for whatever i wish for will come true. That was when i was young. I really did believe and thought I am a lucky girl but as time goes by i did realised that im lucky because my dad made the wish came true. He tried his best to make the wishes come true so how am i to blame him for what had just happened? How could i?.. with the love he showers me with? I just can't..
I can't really see what im typing...I'll continue later

lazy gal...

i wonder do i have to do this all the time...once a month an entry to my blog..damn lazy huh??
What happened...? I cut my hair till above shoulder length!! Feels different..younger, free-er, and sexier ...i just felt like that..first time in love with a hairstyle...hmmm a new hairstyle to welcome the new year i guess..cut off the old and spoilt hair made me feel like im to have a new beginning..start something or do things differently...uurrgghh i don't feel like blogging or should i say crapping but i feel like typing or just have a new entry for my blog..maybe i just crap whatever came into my mind..
im on holiday again...there goes my RM7000 per semester...dang that was fast..i can't believe i finish one semester already..things just happened and classes all 14weeks...totally different compare to the time i waited/wasted..time pass so slow at that moment..now it seems to be flying..make new friends..meet new people..gossiping..enjoying movies together..ponteng-ing classes..studying..exam..ahahaha looks like my 3 years is not going to be long...will have to enjoy till the end!! *hopefully* it's just the first semester maybe i feel that it was easy..more tough roads/paths to take..
friends been flying and making trips here and there..cousins, relatives been flying, calling and making trips in and out of countries..i want to do that also..spending ONLY 3weeks in London is soooooooo not enough..heck it make me want MORE!!! i almost got to go again with my brother but he decided to go later maybe during February..ahhhh couldnt make it ..semester2 starting...but i wouldn't want to also.. i wanna spend a very long time there not just a few months vacation...ahh im a dreamer...i have big-huge-and-far-away-hard-to-reach dreams!! =p
baby gal yieng yieng is back from kangaroo land...but the number of times i see her can be counted with one hand..*sigh* holiday is time to meet up old friends and spent some time mamak-ing...saw some old friends and i realised i missed them so much..eventhough we were not tightly close but i still miss them..really enjoy chatting with them...another friend is flying off again oversea to study..Germany..jealous gila!! ahahah..but he's nervous..a foreign land german speaking people..hmm but for me i think it wil be fun...at least he's at Europe..experiencing the 4seasons and meeting foreigners who might or most probably be arrogant, scary, or maybe friendly and helpful...that will be very good experience..maybe getting lost at places and find the way out..ahhh going through all those while having to excel in his studies...all alone without any burden but only thinking of what will be best for himself..the liberty is the best thing i supposed..nobody to answer to or feel responsible to or whatever..i guess...of course homesick will be bad..but then..ahaha im about to start crapping and i don't even know what's my point is!! =p
hmmm..let's see..any news bout my love life? erm wait..do i have a love life...erm...nope i don't!! hahaha..well a non-existence marriage with a korean and american dude..does it count? =p well this 2 guys are now my current crushes..i call them my hubbies and Amelia called them my pathetic-school-girl-crushes..pathetic,no?..but i like it..calling these 2 hubbies..better then doing nothing at all..mom was wondering why me no bf..me was thinking why no feeling towards anyone or anyone having any feelings for me..erm well not that i know of...my problem or what? well of course not my problem..it's just the people i meet are all good to be friends but not bf..my standard too high?..too fussy? ahahha...things that i rather enjoy talking with my gal friends together...i especially like how PY was when we were at Midvalley foodcourt *wink wink* =p
had an early Xmas...went out for dinner..exchanging presents..ahhh..really in the xmas mood here..love the presents i have this year..well i actually love my presents every year so hehehe..really happy that we still have our annual Xmas celebration..been doing that for quite some years..and this year baby gal yieng yieng is still here with us..so nothing much different also...i just wanna say i love my pressies a lot!!! thank you gals!! and kenny!! =)
well enough crapping now..more to come later! ciao bloggie..

pasar malam..

I wonder how long ago since the last time i went to pasar malam...i think was the time i went with baby gal Yieng Yieng...this time i actually went to this pasar malam at Taman Connaught(hopefully correct spelling)...hehe friend drove us all there...yes Taman Connaught at Cheras where UCSI is situated where i would normally NOT go because it's so far away from my place...imagine a pasar malam nearby my house also i damn lazy to go..but i heard that this pasar malam is good..so i must go and have an eye opener...which i don't regret.. it was great..soooooooo many food!!! They even sell the ice-cream that i ate when i was small..hahahah can't resist i must get it...really remind me of my childhood back at Sunway! x) it was soooooo long the pasar malam...soooo sooooo long!! muahahahah...but according to my friend because it was raining so it wasn't long enough and i was like ...whoa!not long enough...? heheh anyway really enjoy the night..
finally finish my assignment for econs...hehehe 2 weeks in advance! hahaha Chenn here didn't do last minute work!! miracle!! hahaha.......but then still have other assignments still...aih..can never run!! DUWAN talk about assignment now..
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER~~!!! The legend of F1... retire this year and i sooooooooo regret i didnt go and watch him at the last Malaysia GP...yes i know he didn't win but at least i can see him in the Ferrari for the last time!!! aaahhhhhh~~!!! I don't like it at all..pooor thing but things happened...what to do...if Michael can accept it so cooly and openly of course i must be as sporting as him....he really did a great job in Brazil.. with a tyre puncture tailing at the back and almost being overlap by Massa..different 71seconds with Massa....he still managed to climb his way back up to 4th place...everyone believes if without the tyre puncture he could have win the GP..or if there are more laps to go he can catch up with Alonso..and win the constructor championship...aahhhh~~!! the Ferrari was in such a great condition that you think it was flying!!! Both of the Ferrari!! totally beautiful....Kimi Raikkonen....heheh he'll be wearing red next year.. i wonder how he looks like and hopefully he will do well in the Ferrari..hopefully he can win the driver's championship next year....really Hopeful now!!!!
well that's all for now...i damn sleepy....aarggghh go to sleep after eating so much junkie!! heheh but i don't care much now...damn tired!! nite nite all! =)

angry ahhhh!!!!!

I lost my entry again...just because of 1 click!! *sigh*
Here goes..Haze haze go away..i hate it so much..it is not a natural phenomenon..we are not supposed to experience it every year unless the land at Indonesia self-combust every year and all then i can't complain much..but this time again it was caused by IDIOTS..NO-BRAINER..HOMO SAPIEN..do they realized how many countries is affected by it? Use the brain la please..Almost every moning i saw ambulance rushing here and there..pity those people with asthma and breathing difficulties..God bless them..poor thing..Stupid haze make me sorethroat..my eyes itchy..and i can't see the KL Tower and KLCC and the moon clearly!! Even driving to and fro uni is so depressing (quote amelia) i am driving tomorrow..hopefully the haze will be gone just like yesterday.
it's been 5 weeks since i last blog..too many things to think of and do..busy busy busy..ahahah now new assignment..4000words!!! Econs..ahahahah can go crazy..hopefully not..i believe i won't but no harm saying i might..=p classes as usual..friends are all still friendly..nothing much to write.
I am 20 years old now..but i realized i don't really get the treatment of an adult from my parents..blessed lucky or the other way round? i con't know..came back late yesterday..parents were not happy because i was driving..gave me angry looks and 2 LONG SENTENCES from each of them..i understand their concern and worries for me..but..but.. i still feel rebellious angry....i dunno..aarrggghhh!!! My problem..? i always reasoned with myself..supress myself and always think and analyse things from both side of the matter..therefore i know i can't just make a mistake or just let go some things just like that! Confusing..? I am..or not..*sigh* but I still love my parents a lot..=)
PY had fun at Singapore..me so jealous..i want to go also..meeting new people..hearing new stories, learning and gaining new experiences from these people she met..people who won't judge or care..i so understand how she feels..and so want to experience it..when i said 'people' i don't meant those Singaporeans..=p i meant those backpackers she met and share the same dorm, toilet and bathrooms with..different kind of people from different countries all gathered at the Inn..good for her..but PY..next time don't 'run away' ooo!! hehe but then if it's for me..i might 'run' too! =p but like i said again...not a bad experience..hahahah jealous gila here! babe..IF my plan to visit England again next summer NOT working out...I am soooooo going to Singapore or Bangkok with you gals yah!!! i sooo want to go travel..sooo desperate to travel..x) but of course must JAGA BUDGET.. =p
hmmmmm let's see..current obsession..a Korean actor we saw recently on tv..Lee Dong Wook shii or Wookie!! heheh he is not the super cutie type and some might say he is not handsome at all..but i like him...his eyes and his smile... hihihihih xp love him!! and his on/off screen chemistry with Ms Lee Da Hae is so cute..hehehe hopefully real life they really did get together...i don't mind at all xp well i went online to look for his pictures..found a lot..but sad thing happened..went to some sites which is in Chinese language..TAK FAHAM even one word!!! so sad..i must learn chinese...MUST MUST MUST!!!! *sigh* those pictures made me happy though...=p
Now..Sunday afternoon..Suzuka GP..Massa pole Michael Schumacher 2nd..Renault 3rd row..everything looked so good..chances high..race started..1st pit-stop done..Michael leading..Alonso 2nd..everything looked damn good..but still i kept my fingers crossed.........................................2nd pit-stop..Alonso went in earlier than Michael..came out still behind Michael..THEN Michael went in...came out IN FRONT OF ALONSO.....everything looked good still..............I went back to my papers in front of me............ AND ALL OF A SUDDEN...ALL OF A SUDDEN MICHAEL'S CAR WAS SMOKING...HIS V8 ENGINE FAILED HIM!!!!!!! CAN ANYONE BELIEVE THAT!!!! 17 LAPS TO GO!!!! 17 LAPS!!!!! TO HIS 2 POINTS EXTRA OF ALONSO....HOW CAN THIS BE????? AAAHHHH..... I HATE TO SEE THE LOOK ON BRIATORE'S FACE WHEN ALONSO PAST MICHAEL THERE ON THE TRACK...NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......!!!!!!! almost all the fans were not happy...full house but i know they came to see Michael for the last time and to support their Toyota and Honda......i hate it...i am so ANGRY...i don't want Michael to lose to the cry baby Alonso!!!!! nnooooooo!!! left another race to go...how to win...how to win? unless ofcourse..we pray hard alonso's car spin out of track at Brasil!!...hopefully...but sooo bad...i don't care...*sob sob sob boo hoo hoo* =( damn sad...going to look at Wookie shi again...*sigh* thank God Kimi is going to Ferrari next year...ahahaha..he is soooo mine next year!! Alonso beware...KImi is the next world champion!!! =p